We all know it’s never a good idea to comment on a woman’s body—or, worse, jump to conclusions and say “congrats” when there’s no baby on board. But what about when someone suddenly pops up holding a baby? Based on Tiffany Haddish‘s experience, even then, it’s still a no.
The comedian and actress, 45, continued her weeklong guest-hosting stint on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Tuesday, August 19 and took the opportunity to clear up a particularly wild rumor during her monologue—that she and Hollywood Unlocked founder Jason Lee had a baby together.
The Girls Trip star was talking about a recent Instagram post where she’s seen holding a baby alongside Lee, captioned simply, “Cats out the bag.” As expected, the internet immediately went into full-blown speculation mode.
“There is a personal matter I feel must be addressed,” she said. “Two weeks ago, I put something on the Instagram that made everyone go a little crazy.”
“So just to be clear,” Haddish clarified, “I did not have a baby. But I am open to it. Wide open to it.”
She followed up with a hilariously on-brand list of her dream baby daddies, starting with Tom Cruise. “No missionn is too impossible for me,” she quipped. Then came Jason Momoa, who earned a cheeky nod: “Aquaman can come swim in these waters.” And finally, Brad Pitt, with Haddish teasing, “He can press any of my Benjamin Buttons anytime.”
Also making the cut? Yankees outfielder Giancarlo Stanton, broadcaster Melvin Robert, Jimmy Kimmel Live! producer Ken Crosby, actor Pedro Pascal and Marcus Winfield from Netflix’s Running Point (played by Tody Sandeman).
And her final call to action? “If you or someone you know wants to put a baby in me, please reach out on social media using the hashtag #PastramiMommy.”
Leave it to Tiffany Haddish: clearing up rumors and manifesting her future in one monologue.
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