Buddy cop comedies are always about two fast-and-loose officers who follow nobody’s rules but their own for the sake of protecting their community. Having way too much fun breaking that formula, 2016’s War on Everyone tells the story of two corrupt, racist, violent, and comically careless cops who look out for nobody but themselves as they assault, steal, and extort their way through life one brawl at a time.
Starting with violence against a mime for his drugs and money and finishing strong with one of the sloppiest redemption arcs you’ve ever seen, War on Everyone crams so much humor into every minute that you don’t even care you’re rooting for the bad guys. Once you realize the criminals they’re pursuing are somehow worse, the ends almost feel justified, which makes it even funnier.
Fresh Off Suspension And Looking For More Trouble
War on Everyone centers on corrupt cops Terry Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård) and Bob Bolano (Michael Peña), who get chewed out by their boss, Lt. Gerry Stanton (Paul Reiser), on a regular basis. Fresh off suspension for assaulting a racist coworker, it’s made clear that “of course he’s racist, he’s one of us.” After a quick slap on the wrist, it’s back to business as usual as Terry and Bob jump straight into a heist organized by local crime lord Lord James Mangan (Theo James).
On the home front, Bob is a family man who clearly loves his wife and kids, even if his version of providing involves bringing home TVs and game consoles “confiscated” from whoever’s house he was “investigating.” One visit in particular, to the home of former stripper Jackie Hollis (Tessa Thompson), puts the duo on Mangan’s radar, as his unhinged right-hand man Russell Birdwell (Caleb Landry Jones) starts getting suspicious about their sudden interest in his boss’s operation.
Terry, a bachelor with a drinking problem and nothing to lose, makes things even worse when he beats Birdwell so badly he loses an eye. That one decision sets off a chain reaction that could cost both him and Bob their badges, guns, freedom, and lives as everything spirals into a full-blown war against the city’s most dangerous criminals.
A Total Blast From Start To Finish
War on Everyone 2016
Michael Peña and Alexander Skarsgård have way too much fun in War on Everyone. Every single exchange plays out like a group chat you’d never want leaked to the public. Their questionable morals and absolute carelessness more often than not pay off, usually because they’re targeting people even worse than themselves under the guise of serving and protecting. When innocent bystanders get caught in the crossfire, they occasionally try to make it right, but they’re such broken people that their good intentions usually cause more damage than they prevent.
No matter how deep they dig themselves into trouble, they somehow land on their feet by either ignoring reason entirely or finding some twisted way to justify their behavior. Their boss, Stanton, is seemingly just as corrupt as they are with his willingness to turn a blind eye to their antics, and only ever calls them out when their missteps result in bad press.
Streaming War On Everyone
War on Everyone takes the buddy cop formula, corrupts it completely, and forces its two antiheroes to stumble through their mess while pretending they have some sort of moral code. Watching the worst people try to do the right thing is hilarious, especially when the villains without badges make them look like heroes by comparison.
Fast, filthy, violent, and weirdly heartfelt in flashes, War on Everyone never loses momentum or its sense of humor, no matter how dark things get. It’s a wild, offensive, and surprisingly clever film that’s perfect if you’re sick of squeaky-clean cop movies and want something with a lot more bite.
War on Everyone is streaming on Max as of this writing.
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