From new life to grief, Ella Macens’s music for the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra is rooted in love

There are countless examples across time and genres of musicians using music to express love.

There’s even an entire period of music called the Romantic era.

In the 19th century, composers wove their feelings into notes on the score and the sounds they made.

“Music is like a road map to our emotions,” says ABC Classic presenter Mairi Nicolson.

In the orchestral world in particular, composers have realised music’s ability to express complex, nuanced emotions without saying a word.

Australian composer Ella Macens drew on this tradition in her newest composition, My Heart On Yours.

Commissioned by ABC Classic, with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra, as a love letter for the network’s 50th birthday, the music evolved to explore different facets of love during its composition.

The music started as Macens’s reflections on the beauty and the heartache of love separated by distance.

But the music is not confined to the shiny, bubbly feeling of romantic love, though it started that way.

After Macens experienced first-hand the Bondi terror attack in December, the music grew to encompass love’s power to heal us from hate and harm.

Expressing feelings without words

Falling in (or out) of love has inspired musicians and music-lovers to dance the night away, sing their hearts out, or simply cry after a heartbreak.

But tapping into these emotions without words requires a different set of skills.

Classical composers have expressed “the whole gamut of human feelings” on paper for centuries, Nicolson says.

There are plenty of composers who took to the piano, for example, in the name of love.

Frederick Chopin dedicated several piano pieces to Maria Wodzińska, a woman he almost married.

Edward Elgar wrote Salut D’amour, a tender duet for piano and violin, as an engagement present for his future wife Caroline Alice Roberts.

Edvard Grieg composed one of his most popular piano pieces, Wedding Day at Troldhaugen, as a 25-year anniversary gift to his wife Nina.

Macens, in turn, drew on “a multitude of nostalgia, reminiscence, longing, joy and grief” while composing My Heart On Yours.

“I formed a connection that opened my heart to love in a way I had not experienced in a long time,” Macens says.

She started writing the music after a four-month trip to Latvia where she connected to her family, people and places, and returned with an aching heart.

“I sat at the piano, doing my singer-songwriter thing, playing one note over and over,” Macens says.

Writing for a symphony orchestra involves knowing how to weave the voices of dozens of instruments.

During this process, “I allow myself to remember the memories which are interwoven in the melody and harmony of this piece,” Macens says.

The result is a rich array of tone colours of different instruments, with the original repeated note grounding the first part of the music.

The influence of life changing events

Two significant life events occurred while Macens was writing My Heart On Yours which influenced the music.

First, Macens’s closest friend gave birth to her first child.

“It brought all of my friendship group together around her,” Macens says.

“[It highlights] a sisterhood in bond and love, strong, rich, bold and warm.”

The image of a newborn on the mother’s chest added an additional layer to My Heart On Yours.

“That purity, that instinct to protect what is fragile, became another thread in the music,” Macens says.

But soon after this experience, the composition took a different turn.

Five days before the music was due to be completed, Macens was caught in the Bondi terror attack while visiting the beach on a Sunday afternoon.

While Macens didn’t directly witness the events, “my experience was one of running and hiding, [while being] still very close to everything that was happening,” she shares.

“In processing the experience afterward, I couldn’t ignore the stories of people literally throwing themselves onto children to protect them,” she shares.

For Macens, the experience was “begging to be acknowledged” in the music, but at first she found it difficult to understand how that fit with a piece grounded in love, connection and friendship.

Ultimately, Macens recognised that her grief was “love in the form of compassion and empathy for everyone affected.”

“I alternated between moments of rest and processing, and finding solace in writing this music,” Macens describes the subsequent days.

In processing her experience, the music Macens wrote became a “loud, foreboding, intense passage.”

Her instructions to the players included “harrowing, relentless.”

Macens says it was hard to even listen to her own composition at first.

“I couldn’t control my body’s response every time I heard it,” she says.

“[But] we can’t leave it at the horror.”

Macens’s mum reminded her that: “In times of despair, we must stay anchored to love.”

The composer reflects that finishing the music has supported her healing process.

The harrowing, relentless passage has become one of her favourite moments in the music.

“I now view [this musical passage] with a sense of reclamation and personal power,” Macens says.

In a world where choosing sides has become so normalised, there’s a poignancy to the wordless language of music.

Composers like Macens hope that their music will resonate with their audiences.

“[But] every person will perceive the music differently,” Macens says.

My Heart On Yours will be premiered by the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra during their free outdoor concert on February 14 at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl in Melbourne. Hear the concert live on ABC Classic at 7:30pm.

Get the latest classical music stories direct to your inbox