Hayden Panettiere is reflecting on the dark times of her childhood when she says she was forced into Hollywood.
In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, the “Scream VI” star, 36, detailed how her experiences being groomed as a child actor later impacted her decisions as an adult. Panettiere chronicles her nontraditional childhood and acting career in her new memoir “This Is Me: A Reckoning,” set to release May 19.
“I was groomed. I was like a little soldier and I always have been. No was never an option. It was just, ‘Here are your scenes, here’s your dialogue, memorize it, hit the marks, do what your director tells you to do.’ I took my marching orders,” she told the outlet.
She explained that the pressure she faced took a toll on her later as she began to self-harm through substance abuse. Panettiere said she developed a people-pleasing behavior that made her consumed by anger, frustration and anxiety that kept building up until it just exploded.
“My life revolved around other people, and I lived to make other people happy and I was the last one on the list,” she said. “I started figuring out any way I could get through it. Sometimes they’ll say in treatment that, believe it or not, our addictions probably saved us at a certain point.”
Panettiere was practically born into the entertainment industry, having appeared in a commercial at age 1 in 1990. She soon began acting on TV and by age 4 began starring on the ABC soap opera “One Life to Live” from 1994 to 1997.
She later joined the cast of “Guiding Light” for four seasons, voiced the ant Dot on Pixar’s 1998 movie “A Bug’s Life” and appeared in the 2000 sports classic film “Remember the Titans.” Her acting career continued as a teenager on “Heroes” and into adulthood with “Nashville.”
Hayden Panettiere recounts painful decision to give up custody of daughter
Panettiere also opened up about her decision to give up full custody to her daughter Kaya’s father, Wladimir Klitschko, in 2018 as she battled both postpartum depression and addiction.
On a May 11 episode of the “On Purpose” podcast, the “Ice Princess” actress told host Jay Shetty that “the idea that anybody would think that I would just give away my child and be OK with it is heartbreaking.”
“It couldn’t be further from the truth. It became this horrible cycle for years of battling depression and anxiety and alcoholism and substance abuse, and just me trying to find my way back.”
Panettiere and Klitschko, her former fiancé and a former Ukrainian professional boxer, currently share custody of their 11-year-old daughter.
During her Hollywood Reporter interview, she revealed that Kaya has recently taken an interest in acting and said she would support her interests as she goes to college. “And if you really love it, then I will support you wholeheartedly. And if she doesn’t like it, she can get out. Her world doesn’t have to revolve around that.”
Contributing: Taijuan Moorman, USA TODAY
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