Luca Comrie and Hilary Duff; Mike Comrie
Credit: Bruce Glikas/WireImage; Michael Tran/FilmMagic
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Hilary Duff is sharing how she prioritized her son Luca when divorcing her ex-husband Mike Comrie
The actress said that it was important to her to show Luca that she fought for her happiness
Duff is also mom to three daughters, whom she shares with husband Matthew Koma
Hilary Duff is opening up about how she prioritized her son when divorcing her ex-husband, Mike Comrie.
During an appearance on the Call Her Daddy podcast, the singer and actress, 38, spoke about co-parenting with her ex-husband, with whom she shares her 13-year-old son Luca. Host Alex Cooper began by asking Duff how she knew that her marriage was over and that she had to walk away.
“It just got to a point where it wasn’t gonna be…I think he was good with it because I was like, ‘Here’s this, this, this,’ ” Duff said. “This was before ‘conscious uncoupling’ was a thing, and my parents went through such a bad divorce that I was like, calling it made it really painful. But we’re not together anymore, so obviously it was bad enough that it just wasn’t working.”
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“And that was a really tough call because we had a not even 2-year-old kid. And I remember doing everything in my power to have it be peaceful and have us hanging out and spending time together,” she continued. “And every time we would trade, it wouldn’t just be a drop-off, pick-up situation. We would go to the park and hang out, or go have a meal.”
“It was really important to me in a way that Luca could feel comfy,” added Duff.
Although she couldn’t remember the exact time she called off the relationship, Duff said it happened very fast and that it just wasn’t working anymore.
“But I remember the one thing that was really hard about it was processing that it was happening, and that it was going to happen and going through all of those emotions,” she shared. “It was a really scary time to just not want to f–k up your kid. You know what I mean?”
“You put all of your stuff aside, and I had to deal with all of that later to just make sure that he was okay,” Duff said.
She recalled how, when she finally filed for divorce from Comrie, outlets began running the news an hour later. Duff said she then had to process the end of her divorce alongside the world finding out. Duff explained that it took her a while to mourn the loss of her relationship, but she really wanted to show Luca she could stay positive and get through it.
“I think I knew from my parents’ divorce that I was going to show my kid that you go to fight for your happiness. And I knew that it was going to be better to do it when he was like 5 and aware or 8 and aware,” Duff said. “And then kids put a whole different element of guilt on themselves for their marriage not working out.”
“I was like, if Luca cannot remember this and have two lives that exist that he can be happy in and feel secure in, I think we’re winning,” she continued.
Duff went on to share what advice she might have for other people who are considering divorce.
“You’ve got to fight for yourself, and it doesn’t matter that you have kids. Your kids are going to be okay. You just have to show them that you also matter,” said Duff. “I think that was a big thing for me is like when you have kids, you kind of become so all consumed by them and they get your everything.”
“And it was important for me not let that be a factor because a 2-year-old can’t decide that, you know what I mean?” she continued. “But once you become a mom, your guilt becomes so thick that you don’t actually…there’s this part of your brain where you’re like, ‘Yeah, I’m still in here and I’m still me,’ and then there’s this huge shadow over it that’s like, ‘But everything for the family and everything for your kid.'”
While Duff said that that’ss a good thing and “by design,” it can be a constant conflict of choosing yourself over your family life and kids.
“Like I had to go drink a martini last night instead of stay home with my family. It’s just I’m working a lot, and I try to still give them everything, but I had to have that dirty martini last night,” Duff joked.
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