‘I debated this post for days’

Grey’s Anatomy star Katherine Heigl is getting candid about the painful process of grieving her late costar, Eric Dane.

On Sunday, the actress behind Dr. Izzie Stevens shared an emotional tribute to Dane, who died at 53 on Thursday, less than a year after going public about his struggle with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), which is also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

In the raw post, Heigl admitted that she struggled with whether or not to publicly discuss the loss, writing, “I debated this post for days. I have never been comfortable grieving publicly. I share my tears, my stories and my memories with those I’m closest to and more times than not I share them only with the heavens alone.”

She continued, “But that silence can often look like a lack of care which I could not abide here.”

Heigl went on to address Dane’s wife and primary caretaker, Rebecca Gayheart, 54, as well as the former couple’s daughters, Billie, 15, and Georgia, 13.

“Rebecca, Billie, Georgia… There is so little, if in fact anything, one can say about a tragic loss like yours,” Heigl wrote. “All the ‘I’m sorries’ and ‘my prayers are with you’ ring a bit hollow in the midst of so much pain and grief. So I will say the only thing that has ever brought me peace when I’ve lost someone I love.”

The actress then referred to Robert Frost’s poem, “Nothing Gold Can Stay,” noting that she has the single verse tattooed on her body in her parents’ handwriting.

“Nature’s first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; but only so an hour,” she quoted. “Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, so Dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.”

Heigl concluded, “I will never forget Eric’s gold and I will forever be grateful I got to bask in it for even a brief moment in time. Thank you for sharing him with us. God Speed my old friend… Here’s to your next great adventure.”

While Heigl was a part of Grey’s Anatomy from its very first episode, Dane didn’t make his debut on the medical drama until season 2, episode 18. The duo shared the screen on the ensemble show across several seasons, up until Heigl departed midway through season 6. Dane would remain with the show for two more full seasons, eventually exiting in the season 9 premiere on Sept. 27, 2012, when his character, Dr. Mark Sloan, was killed in a plane crash.

Since his Feb. 19 death, several of Dane’s costars have taken the time to honor his memory, praising his life and career.

“The last 48 hours have been devastating,” wrote Grey’s alum Chyler Leigh — who played Dane’s love interest on the show — in a statement to E! News. “I never thought I would be using the term ‘had or was,’ but here we are. And I hate it.”

She continued, “Eric had a heart of gold. His humor and, especially, his laugh was infectious. He was a deeply intelligent man who could carry a philosophical conversation for hours even while we were on set.”

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Patrick Dempsey, who was the McDreamy to Dane’s McSteamy (the widely popularized nicknames of their Grey’s Anatomy characters) told The Chris Evans Breakfast Show, “He was the funniest man — he was such a joy to work with and I want to just remember him in that spirit because any time he was on set, he brought so much fun to it.”

Dempsey went on to praise his longtime friend for publicly battling ALS, adding, “He did an incredible job at bringing awareness to this horrible disease and those remaining days. And it just reminds us that we all have to celebrate every day like it’s our last day.”

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