Rapper Lil Nas X returned to Instagram on Wednesday, revealing he’s been living life on “extreme hard mode” after his arrest and subsequent bipolar diagnosis.
“When I got my bipolar disorder diagnosis, I feel like I had known for the past few years, but I wouldn’t admit to it because I didn’t want to have to take medication and have people think differently,” The “Old Town Road” singer, whose given name is Montero Lamar Hill, said in an Instagram video where he appeared outside. “I’m already Black and gay. Damn, God. Gimme … come on. Black, gay, bipolar, I’m living life on extreme hard mode.”
Lil Nas X was arrested last year after allegedly attacking police officers while walking down a Los Angeles road in just his underwear and cowboy boots. He pleaded not guilty. A court ruled in April that the incident was related to his bipolar diagnosis and the charges would be dismissed if he followed his treatment plan.
On Wednesday, the rapper said he’s been in rehab for a few months and back and forth between Atlanta with his family and Los Angeles. He said he has been trying to “ground” himself “down to earth” and get out of his head. He added that he has a therapist and a psychiatrist, “which has been really helpful.”
“I’m doing much better,” he said. “I’m feeling better. I’m creating freely and there’s less fear in my heart and [I’m] smelling roses.”
He thanked his fans and said he wants to make them proud as well as himself.
Shortly after his arrest in August 2025, Lil Nas X told his fans that he was going to be all right despite the “terrifying” experience.
“Your girl is gonna be okay, y’all. OK. She’s gonna be all right. She’s gonna be all right. Shit,” he said in an Instagram story. “That was fucking terrifying, that was terrifying, that was a terrifying last four days, but your girl’s gonna be all right.”
Need help with substance use disorder or mental health issues? In the U.S., call 800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline.
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