Stephen Colbert on Thursday cheerfully announced on “The Late Show” that there’s a new spring in his step, and not just because the snow melting on New York sidewalks makes him “want to hop over all that poop” being unthawed after weeks of frigid weather.
“Also because this morning the former Prince Andrew was arrested following revelations in the Epstein files,” he explained. “Yes, finally, someone, anyone! Let’s hear it! Let’s hear it for British justice, which is better … than American justice because it comes with frilly wigs.”
While the punch line prompted laughter from his audience, the actual news drew applause.
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor was infamously stripped of his formal title in the British royal family last year amid mounting questions about his past connection to late child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein — and was arrested Thursday by U.K. authorities.
President Donald Trump has since described the matter as “a shame” and “very sad thing,” telling reporters that he himself has been “totally exonerated” of any potential crimes related to Epstein, pointing to files released by his Justice Department as supposed proof.
“Technically this arrest isn’t about any charges of pedophilia,” Colbert explained Thursday.
U.K. authorities took him into custody on suspicion of “misconduct in public office, which is defined as ‘serious willful abuse or neglect of the power or responsibilities of the public office held,’ which is not only not illegal in the United States, it was Trump’s campaign slogan,” he joked.
The former prince was notably arrested following the latest release of Epstein files, however, which suggest he gave Epstein confidential information while the official U.K. trade envoy in 2011 on lucrative investment options in the reconstruction of Afghanistan’s Helmand Province.
Colbert went on to share a now-viral image, snapped by Reuters photographer Phil Noble, that showed the disgraced former royal looking stupefied and slouching in the back of a car while being driven away from the police station following his arrest.
“It’s a classic pose known as the Nosferatu,” he joked about the apparent resemblance.
Steve Parsons/Pool Photo/Associated Press
Colbert eventually moved on from Epstein and mounting calls for thorough investigations in the U.S., mocking Trump over his inaugural “Board of Peace” address Thursday, where he announced the U.S. will contribute $10 billion to his newly formed organization.
Trump shared no further details on where the money is coming from or how it can be spent.
Colbert jokingly likened this board to the United Nations, “except instead of passing binding resolutions, you pass a greasy bag of money to Donald Trump” and pay $1 billion to secure a permanent seat, and he said it thus seems to operate just like a traditional strip club.
He explained, “Cash only and Donald Trump will never leave.”
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