Taylor Hill
Art is open to subjective interpretation, of course, but I’m not convinced everyone debating the meaning and message of a new Kelsea Ballerini song is doing it because they’d like to engage critically with the artist’s work.
The song in question is the country star’s new single, “I Sit in Parks.” It’s a melancholy reflection on the feeling we all have from time to time about the lives we might have lived. Ballerini describes sitting in a park watching a woman her own age having a picnic with her husband and kids. The singer wonders if it’s too late for her to have her own family, which she makes clear she wants, and if she’d be happier if she’d gone after that dream instead of her dream career.
On YouTube, the music video has drawn mostly positive comments from people who relate to the feeling evoked by the song. Many are from women in their 30s who say they are trying to have their first children (for context, Ballerini is 32). Some talk about “God’s timing,” though others are less supportive, advising women not to “wait” or warning that the “great millennial regret” of putting off parenthood is coming.
And in even less supportive corners of the internet, things are getting more heated. Let’s get into it on the latest TL;DR…
What does “I Sit in Parks” actually say?
When you look at the lyrics alone, Ballerini is clear that she chose, of her own free will, to prioritize her career. The only outside voice she seems to be listening to is Rolling Stone (“But Rolling Stone says I’m on the right road / So I refill my Lexapro”). She’s not even weighing two value systems (careerism versus family; left versus right; work versus home) or ideologies. She’s simply contending with the biological reality of fertility.
It’s a pretty apolitical and personal stance, and one that many women of all ages understand. She’s not debating whether or not she should or will have children, just acknowledging that she pursued her dreams and wondering what life would be like if she had taken another path.
At one point she does sing, “I wonder if she wants my freedom like I wanna be a mother.” Put another way, Ballerini recognizes that having a family requires some level of sacrifice of one’s freedom.
What is the debate over the song?
In a nutshell, conservative commentators are blaming any sad feelings the song evokes on feminism, ascribing the fact that Ballerini doesn’t have any kids to wokeness at large. “How many hearts has feminism broken with its lies?” asks one Christian influencer on X.
An op-ed on Fox News at least takes the song more seriously, pointing out that Ballerini isn’t bitter and “doesn’t villainize anyone,” but the author does villainize society at large, writing that “the world” told Ballerini not to want motherhood.
Meanwhile, The Daily Wire’s coverage says: “There is a group of women who feel duped by the subtle yet relentless messaging to build their careers and identities first and worry about marriage and family later…or never.”
These “takes” operate from the premise that women are somehow brainwashed in and out of motherhood like it’s a trend. If you look at the comments of the women relating to the song, however, that’s not the reasoning they’re giving for delaying having kids. The vast majority of comments on TikTok are from women who say they didn’t meet their partners until their mid-30s, suggesting that it’s the dating scene that’s to blame (if we want to play the blame game here).
“So many women have felt this,” wrote one. “I never thought I wouldn’t be a mother until my 30s. But that’s what happened and that’s what was meant to happen. So many years left ahead of all of us women. Anything is possible.” Added another, “Thank you so much for this song, my 30-something soul broke for those of us who are questioning our yesterday’s choices that made our today’s…but my heart smiled.”
As another put it, “Valid feeling of not being where ya wanna be in life at a certain age.”
We also have actual data to explain why women are putting off becoming mothers. Yes, prioritizing their career may be part of the decision. But also, kids cost a lot of money. The average age of a first-time homeowner is skyrocketing. And it’s a precarious world that feels pretty risky.
Celebrity News
Kelsea Ballerini and Chase Stokes Split After Almost Three Years Together
The country star and the actor’s breakup was seemingly amicable.
What has Ballerini said about all this?
Though she hasn’t addressed the discourse directly, Ballerini did explain a bit about where she was emotionally while writing the song and the Mount Pleasant EP at large. In a TikTok video shared with fans on November 13, the singer-songwriter recounted a whirlwind spring—including an arena tour and a stint on The Voice—that was followed by a period of solitude and reflection. It was during this post-burnout haze that she asked herself, What’s a pulse check on myself at 32 if I have nothing to busy myself out of feeling it?
“What I want in my life now is different than what I wanted at 25…and also acknowledging that I’m not 25 anymore, and having all these feelings come up to the surface and having all this time and space to not run from it,” she says.
How are her fans feeling?
It’s resonating with them, and they’re helping each other through it. One of the most popular TikToks using the song is a video of a woman with cancer crying on her couch thinking about how she might have waited too long to have kids. Ballerini commented on it, sending the woman a virtual hug. Read through the comments if you want to be thoroughly heartened by tales of women in their late 30s and early 40s having healthy children, or just a lot of people relating to one another about the struggles of life in a nonjudgmental way. Here’s the link!
Originally Appeared on Glamour
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