The Yankees beat the Royals by so many runs I lost count

One of my pet theorems about the Kansas City Royals franchise and their fans is that nobody really knows what winning looks like, what good players look like. It’s a point of view naturally warped by decades of mediocrity punctuated by brief seasons of excitement. Tonight, the New York Yankees crushed the Royals 15-1 and notched a hilarious 24 hits in a farce of a game that was never close.

There’s not much of a story to this one, really. The Royals, down a couple of starting pitchers and bereft of any legitimate arms in the upper minors to help, made this a bullpen game. One week ago, I sat in the press box and wrote about a game wrecked by Bailey Falter and The Bullpen Dudes. Tonight, I type this sitting in the press box and am writing about a game being wrecked by Bailey Falter and The Bullpen Dudes once again.

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Falter’s first inning was one of the worst innings I think I’ve ever seen. No, he didn’t give up nine runs in a frame like Edinson Volquez did in 2016 or 10 runs like Vin Mazarro’s fourth inning disaster in 2011, but it was frankly a miracle he didn’t give up more. And that’s because, well, just look at this:

Seven batted balls. An average—average!!!—exit velocity of 104 MPH. Not a single ball had an expected batting average of less than .460, and that one was the home run. Just an absolute embarrassment. Four runs scored.

Now, to be somewhat fair to Falter, he should have been out of it with just Cody Bellinger’s solo home run on the board. Two batters later, Ben Rice hit a sinking line drive to right field. Jac Caglianone had a bead on it but jogged it down instead of ran it down, barely catching the ball with his glove touching the ground.

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But the Yankees challenged. They thought the ball touched the ground in the course of the catch, and the MLB replay officials agreed. That ended up scoring Paul Goldschmidt and led to two more runs.