As we entered the celebrity parlour game’s second week, the castle population dwindled due to two banishments and one murder. Here are all the treacherous talking points…
Banishing Niko was a tactical disaster
The big teases left us on a cliffhanger last week with the first banishment about to be decided. It looked like a toss-up between TV presenter Kate Garraway and YouTube prankster Niko Omilana, with the wind apparently blowing in Garraway’s direction.
However, this game specialises in plot twists. As we returned, Niko got a landslide of votes to end up with 10 out of 18. Most of them were apologetic. “It’s a compliment really,” became the refrain. “We just think you’d make a cracking Traitor.” When Niko bowed out by revealing that he was a Faithful, it was facepalm time. “How stupid are we?” said Clare Balding. Quite stupid, yes.
A shame because the castle’s youngest male looked like one of the Faithful most likely to think strategically and play the game effectively. Instead, his day job pulling duplicitous stunts seemed to have coloured his castmates’ views, meaning Niko was never quite trusted. Now we’ll never get to see what other comedy name misspellings he had in store for the Round Table chalkboards. “Senior Kimchi” for Celia Imrie, perhaps?
Traitors were shrewd to take out Tom Daley
The Traitors didn’t wait long to commit their next murder and the victim was knit wit Tom Daley. Or should that be “Daylee”? The Olympic diver put a target on his own back with his reputation for being perceptive, observant and trusting nobody. All pursed lips and graveside side-eye, he’d pounced upon Garraway’s use of the word “flabbergasted” – although as Alan Carr sagely said: “You can’t call someone a Traitor just because they have a better vocabulary than you.”
Tom Daley was murdered by the Traitors after raising suspicions and challenging other players – BBC
Daley aired the theory that Traitors had planned to deliberately strip others of their immunity shields to put them back in the firing line. Incorrect but interesting. He also questioned whether Clare Balding had deliberately messed up the Trojan Horse task to the detriment of the Faithful. Again, no, but admirable effort.
With his meme-friendly facial reactions, whispered huddles and willingness to throw around accusations, the cherubic ex-Olympian was destined to become either an effective Traitor-hunter or a much-maligned villain. “I guess I’ll do one final dive into my grave,” sighed Daley ruefully. I bet he’s flabbergasted to be killed off this early.
Faithful falling into the same old trap
How many times have we seen it on the civilian series? Innocent Faithful get banished for spurious reasons while a Traitor sits nearby, completely free of suspicion. Anyone who bothers to think logically is hailed as a “Traitor hunter” or nicknamed “Jazatha Christie” when they’re merely playing the game properly.
Once again, emotions ran high at Round Tables. The Faithful tied themselves in knots by looking at the wrong people. Kate Garraway attracted heat based on little more than vague vibes. Was she overly hammy? In a castle full of luvvies, that seemed a stretch. Niko had an “impeccable poker face”? Looking innocent is clearly a crime nowadays. He was a decoy murder victim in the coffin task? So was Lucy Beaumont and she escaped scrutiny.
Kate Garraway came under suspicion at the Round Table, despite little concrete evidence against her – BBC
Instead they should have been asking who could have killed Paloma Faith in plain sight. Several heard Paloma say that Niko Omilana had unexpectedly hugged her good night. Why did nobody pick up on that? They would still have been wrong but at least it would have been evidence-based, rather than wild speculation.
Ditto Clare Balding’s theory that Alan could have killed her as the perfect cover, which was barely discussed at the first Round Table. Meanwhile, Joe Marler clocked Jonathan Ross forgetting that he had an immunity shield, which no Faithful would ever do. Why wasn’t this brought up? The Faithful need to raise their game before many more of them get picked off.
Tameka sent packing for shaky reasons
The Faithfuls’ reasoning was similarly tenuous with EastEnders stalwart Tameka Empson. Actor Mark Bonnar had been like a dog with a bone with his suspicions. Did her behaviour subtly change? Well, they’re in a camp gothic castle playing a glorified game of wink murder on TV. No wonder she behaved differently. Nick Mohammed went along with this theory, agreeing that she was “jittery”. Tameka’s attempts to root out Traitors were suddenly seen as a double bluff. Four votes against and she was excommunicated.
Nine years ago, Empson was undeservedly knocked out early from Strictly Come Dancing. Now she fell victim to the same fate on Strictly’s BBC stablemate. She’s admitted that she found the castle “stressful”, saying: “I can’t look at a round table again. I’m like, ‘Do we have a square or oval please?’” She heard the doof-doofs and was told to “get out of my pub”.
Jonathan Ross risks being unmasked
Having got rid of four Faithful already, the Traitors are firmly in the ascendant. For the first time, though, all their names came up at the Round Table – and ringleader Joanthan Ross was the prime suspect. Actress Ruth Codd was especially vocal, noting how Ross was keen to form alliances but soon turned on Niko. She said his switcheroo was “indicative of a game player” and predicted that he’d stab her in the back next.
Clare Balding was half convinced. Both the Joes, Marler and Wilkinson, were on the same page. The latter reasoned that Wossy was one of the few players with the “mettle and gumption” to murder Paloma Faith. When we return tomorrow night, might the tables turn on the Traitors at last?
Key castle stats
Best moment: Celia Imrie audibly farting from fear. “It’s nerves but I always own up,” she said sweetly. Forget moment of the episode, this was a contender for TV moment of the year.
Best quote: “I’ve forgotten my safe word which means ‘call my agent’” – Stephen Fry in the creepy cabin.
Best Traitor: Cat Burns, the quiet assassin. She has also formed an alliance with Alan Carr, agreeing that they’ll happily throw co-conspirator Jonathan Ross under the bus.
Best Faithful: Actresses Celia Imrie and Ruth Codd both became outspoken sleuths but the prize goes to rugby player Joe Marler for his accurate “Big Dog Theory”.
Winkleman wardrobe watch: Those punk-style tartan troosers at breakfast. However, even she was upstaged by Wossy’s tartan cape-and-fingerless gloves homage. “My tribute to Claudia,” he smiled.
Prize pot: After three missions, the prize fund stands at £27,500 for the winner’s chosen charity out of a possible £36,000.
Body count: Two banishments and one murder mean it’s now three Traitors versus 12 Faithful. “You can hear the Traitors laughing because you’re doing their work for them,” said Claudia.
Next up: Episode three airs on Thursday at 9pm on BBC One. We’ll see who gets murdered, new suspicions among the Faithful and a mission which forces the celebrities to communicate in an unexpected way. Meet you here afterwards to analyse all the Ardross Castle action.
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