When author and lawyer Belle Burden’s marriage of 21 years came to an abrupt end, she wanted answers. When they weren’t very forthcoming, she decided to stop searching for an explanation, instead looking towards the life she wanted to rebuild.
It turns out she isn’t alone. When Belle shared her story with Nuala McGovern during an episode of BBC Woman’s Hour, the response was huge, with many women sharing their own stories of being blindsided by their marriages ending suddenly.
Belle explains, “I think as women, and especially as mothers, we’re expected to really stay quiet about it, that’s it’s perceived as graceful and good to actually not talk about these things. To really quietly clean up the mess.”
“That serves to protect the men in the story,” she adds, continuing, “and is often to our detriment. I think when you stay quiet, these things can get repeated across generations.”
When the segment was posted to Instagram, the comments were sadly filled with women who had a similar experience.
One person wrote, “This absolutely resonates with me. I discovered by sheer chance that my husband of 24 years, and father of our four children, had been having many affairs over many years.”
“I met him when I was 18 – he was nine years older than me and I didn’t even know what a red flag was back then let alone spot one. The truth has set me free but only after a journey of research into covert narcissism, red flag spotting, healthy boundary setting and learning to live alone with myself.”
Another added, “My situation was exactly the same as this- 27 years together and 21 years married. No explanation or reason was given. I didn’t think I could survive it, but 13 years on I’ve finally healed.”
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‘ Some details of this article were extracted from the following source www.womanandhome.com ’
