Breaking: We’ve confirmed that Donny Trump, Vladi Putin and Kimmy Jong Un are going to be in Denver this weekend for the first-ever Flatline Festival, as the three world leaders are set to make their live-music debut as core members of Colorado-based shred group Nuclear Power Trio on Saturday, June 13, at the Oriental Theater.
Westword caught up with the band’s recently resurrected manager, Abe Lincoln, to discuss the ongoing effort to maintain world peace through prog-jazz fusion. (Yes, they all speak in character. And we’re not going to reveal the true identities behind NPIII, because where’s the fun in that?)
“You take your average politician and put them on stage, and they tell people to riot, they might not get a good response, but dammit, if Dave Matthews has the whole CU Boulder stadium in the palm of his fist and tells them to do something, they’re going to do it,” says Honest Abe.
“Music is a powerful force like that. They recognize that, and it ended up being for the benefit of all of humanity because all wars are over,” the undead president continues. “We have achieved world peace. We’re going to keep trying to achieve it if the bastards and the wealthy, entitled fart sniffers aren’t successful in sending Terminator Osama back and changing the timeline and getting us back on the warpath.”
You heard it here first: Politicians playing metal is the secret to global harmony. But metalheads in the know have been aware of the satirical band’s chops since Donny’s first term, when he and Vladi initially teamed up with drummer Mike Tyson in 2017 to drop a self-titled single. The song and accompanying teaser went viral, catching the attention of legendary label Metal Blade Records, which immediately signed the group. Kimmy joined as stickman before the EP “A Clear and Present Rager” dropped in late 2020.
“Donny and Kimmy were having some negotiations between the United States and North Korea as far as the nuclear program and sanctions and they were sending each other love letters,” the slick-talking Lincoln explains. “They just fell in love.”
That first five-song release blew up Nuclear Power Trio even bigger, thanks to the hit song “Grab ’Em by the Pyongyang” and its accompanying music video, which depicted a contentious pickup basketball game pitting the trio against Chris Farley, Danny DeVito and Terminator Osama. The band’s debut full-length, “Wet Ass Plutonium,” featuring such classics as “Nyetflix and Chill” and “Critical Bass Theory,” brought the three-headed world beater to previously unseen heights. Still, it’s been three years since Nuclear Power Trio has dropped any fresh material — which is sort of understandable, given how busy its members are with world affairs.
“The plan has always been to get the hell away from these horribly stressful jobs,” Lincoln shares. “Any of these high positions where you’re in charge of who dies and who doesn’t is going to take its toll on you. Not to say that touring in a metal fusion band is the greatest thing for your stress, but it’s going to be a hell of a lot better than worrying about nukes.”
In looking towards a post-political career, NPIII is working on a sophomore follow-up, set to be recorded locally with legendary producer Dave Otero at his studio, Flatline Audio. Otero is also the man behind Flatline Fest, an idea that he’s harbored for years. He’s worked with all ten bands on the inaugural bill, from local heavy hitters Clusterfux and Necropanther to international headliners Cattle Decapitation and Archspire.
“It’s crazy; I sit here and stare at the lineup, and I’m like, ‘This is fucking wild,’” he told Westword back in January, when the fest was announced. “Every single one of these bands, I have all these memories and whole experiences tied to.”
Lincoln credits Otero with getting the boys together, making it a legit project and finally getting it to the stage live.
“A lot of this ties into Dave Otero. He’s absolutely instrumental in bringing this band’s reality to life, bringing world peace through music,” Lincoln says. “I don’t think any other producer would have the wizard-like capabilities of being able to get all the tracks that these boys have, to be able to put it all together like that so the music was able to convey the essence of world peace. I think Dave Otero is really the only man on the planet who can do it.”
Of course, having the best guitarist in the history of mankind leading the charge makes things a little easier.
“As you can imagine, a lot of the stuff starts with Donny. He’s essentially the greatest musician in the world, the greatest guitar player the world’s ever seen,” Lincoln notes. “He studies nylon guitar. I believe he almost has his master’s in classical guitar.”
Then there’s Kimmy, who is an extremely proficient tech-death drummer. But that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, since he’s amazing at everything he’s ever done.
“When he plays golf, it’s 18. That’s his score: hole in one every time,” Lincoln explains. “He learned how to drive when he was three years old. Kimmy’s as close to a god-like figure as you can have as a leader. His body’s so efficient — no peeing or pooping.
Courtesy Nuclear Power Trio
“He’s very fair to animals, loves animals, loves dogs,” he continues. “I think he was PETA’s 2020 animal rights activist of the year — or maybe pita bread’s.”
Otero agrees that NPIII is unique for many reasons: “The most insane people, musicians and music. Sounds like nothing else. It’s got a lot going for it.”
You might be wondering how these three all ended up in Denver?
“The centrality of Denver in the country, it’s pretty much right in the middle,” Lincoln says. “All the boys love DIA and all the secret tunnels underneath. We’ll fly into NORAD and take the train from NORAD underground into DIA.”
Plus, this place is such a metal hotspot nowadays — as evidenced by the number of nationally known bands, venues and events, now including a homegrown flagship fest in Flatline — that it’s a no-brainer for Donny, Vladi and Kimmy to call Colorado home.
“I really think Denver has positioned itself as a top-three metal market. You got L.A., New York and Denver, to me,” according to Lincoln. “If you were to consider the vibe element of things, too, I would put Denver number one. I would say it’s the best metal city in the country. We’re happy to be a part of the Colorado scene, especially with the real estate market crashing like it is.”
NPIII may or may not be taking its act on the road following this weekend’s debut, but there is going to be much more coming from the dick taters’ camp, including some otherworldly disclosures. That’s not fake news, but facts confirmed by Lincoln himself.
“We knew that we wanted to eventually get this music out live. The boys have just been so busy with their world conquests, it just finally made sense,” he says. “If anybody was going to get us to say yes to actually getting everything that it takes to put this together, it would have been Dave. We’re doing it out of the love of Dave and world peace.
“The vibration at that show is going to be very high, very conducive to world peace,” Lincoln concludes. “All the bands are participating in creating world peace.”
Flatline Fest, 5:30 p.m. Saturday, June 13, and Sunday, June 14, The Oriental Theater, 4335 W. 44th Ave. Tickets are $60.
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