Best Early 2000s Reality Shows

That’s right, guys. Ashlee Simpson had a show back when she was super “edgy,” had black hair, shopped at Hot Topic, and wore long-sleeve sweaters with thumbholes. AND YOU KNOW WHO LOVED IT? This girl.

Nothing can compare to the Emmy-deserving piece of American history that is Newlyweds, starring Ashlee’s big sister, Jessica, and Jessica’s then-husband, Nick Lachey. Remember when Jess was eating tuna and iconically thought it was chicken? God bless her!

This show was once described as an “insult to common sense and decency,” to which I say Leave! Britney! Alone! I mean, sure, Britney and Kevin: Chaotic was objectively terrible, but that’s what made it so special.

It quite simply doesn’t get more iconic (and problematic, let’s be real) than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie roughing it on The Simple Life. A show about rich white women pretending to be poor for #Content isn’t exactly a great look, but hey, it was a ~simpler~ time.

Me: *looks at this poster, feels delightfully nostalgic*

Also me: UGH, I’M SO OLD.

Wait, LOL, remember when this show was a thing? Not sure who asked for an entire series on America’s Next Top Model winner Adrianne Curry and The Brady Bunch star Christopher Knight, but VH1 made us watch three seasons of it anyway.

Otherwise known as the show where Ashton Kutcher annoyed TF out of various unsuspecting celebrities. My personal favorite episode involved Miley Cyrus pranking Liam Hemsworth with two naked randoms fresh off a sex party and he completely flipped out.

You know what literally no one ever wanted? To watch an incredibly ancient Hugh Hefner frolic around with a bunch of women half his age in the Playboy Mansion. Okay, fine, maybe some people asked for it, but either way, 2005 delivered.

Please file under: that feeling when you realize Sister Wives is literally the same show as Girls Next Door and you’re incredibly uncomfortable.

I, too, wish I could end terrible dates by yelling “NEXT!!!!” Mid-’00s dating may have been brutal, but at least the singles on this show were treated well. LOL, nah, just kidding. They were all trapped on a bus together and forced to share three of the most ridiculous facts about themselves before meeting their date. Seriously, watch this show and thank me later.

I have a lot of questions for both the person who canceled this show *and* the person who created it, including but not limited to: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????

Kinda like Sex and the City only not at all, Amish in the City followed a fleet of young Amish kids living with a buncha regulars before deciding whether or not to return to the Amish church. Truly, a recipe for success!

Sorry, not done with Amish reality show content yet. Breaking Amish was admittedly not the aughts, but it would be journalistically irresponsible to leave it out. To be clear, though, it’s basically the same show as Amish in the City. Kay, moving on!

I’m fully convinced this show (about a bunch of ~bad girls~ living in a mansion together) is the reason the 2000s were called the naughty aughties. Try to change my mind.

Before E! blessed us with Keeping Up With the Kardashians in 2007, we had The Anna Nicole Show, about Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith’s wild life in the spotlight. Ya know, just casual things like her dealing with her poodles humping everything.

Remember when FOX conned a bunch of women into believing they were going on a dating show with a millionaire but then they were like, “Hahaha, surprise, he’s just a (wait for it) REGULAR JOE”? Wow, 2003 really was the golden age of reality television.

Hands up if your mom made you watch this with her on PBS after dinner? And you pretended to hate it but secretly lived for sulky teenagers in “modern families” living their best 1883 lives? Same!

In case Who Wants to Marry My Dad? wasn’t your jam!!!!

Keeping with the theme of families who probably regret going on a dating show together, there’s this MTV gem. Who could forget the “angry” parents who tried to come between their teen and their S.O. by finding them a rebound? The terrible acting! The insults! All of it was iconic.

Dog Whisperer was surprisingly addictive and ushered in a glorious renaissance of Nat Geo and Animal Planet reality shows. I honestly miss these very good bois!