‘Daily Show’ Has A Word With Marco Rubio Over His ‘Pathetic’ War On Fonts

“Daily Show” correspondent Michael Kosta mocked Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Thursday over his war on “woke fonts.”

“Wait, what — what the fuck is a woke font? Was it a font offended by the Sydney Sweeney jeans ad?” Kosta quipped.

Earlier this week, Rubio ordered diplomats to switch from Calibri to Times New Roman for official documents.

Rubio blasted a 2023 decision to use Calibri — implemented by then-Secretary of State Antony Blinken to make communications more accessible for those with visual impairments — as a “wasteful” diversity move.

“Apparently, for MAGA, the definition of woke has been so stretched that at this point it means ‘helping other people at all even if it doesn’t hurt anyone else,’” Kosta said.

“That means if Calibri was woke, then ramps are woke. Braille is woke. Those chairs that lower old people into the hotel pool are woke. How else are they going to secretly finger blast each other under the water, huh? That’s not the world I want to grow old in!”

He proceeded to slam Rubio’s “pathetic attempt to start a culture war” before turning to how right-wing outlets are covering it anyway.

“Boom! The superior font is back,” declared Fox Business anchor Dagen McDowell.

Kosta questioned if conservative media is “suffering from an outrage shortage” under Trump before tossing to a clip of Newsmax’s Chris Salcedo struggling to pronounce Calibri.

“Cali-bro Akbar?” said Kosta, mocking the conservative host for trying to make the font name sound “ethnic.”

“Cala-cala-Mamdani? Whatever happened to good ole American font names like Kyle or Chad?”

Check out more of Kosta’s Thursday monologue on “The Daily Show.”