‘I’ll Eat Failure for Breakfast’

Theo Von is opening up about his recent comedy special at New York’s Beacon Theatre after he reportedly struggled to complete his performance, and a viral clip from the night caused concern over his mental health among fans.

During his new This Past Weekend episode, the podcaster shared the context leading up to his filmed performance. First, he had started to “self-wean” himself off his antidepressants over the summer since he “wanted to have a little bit more emotion” during his comedy special. Then, while in that process, Charlie Kirk was murdered. Around this time, the Department of Homeland Security used a video of Von online to promote their deportations of migrants, which the host previously said he did not approve of. “I had nothing to do with this shit,” Von said. “It was an intense thing.” All of that in conjunction made him “paranoid,” he said.

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“Like I had the curtains in my house kind of closed,” Von said. “I woke up the next morning to a text from a high government official saying, ‘Hey, if you need some extra security in your neighborhood or some extra police cars on patrol, let me know.’ And I’m like, ‘What? What are you talking about? Extra security? I don’t even know the code to my Ring camera.’ … It really kind of shook me.”

Von addressed his filmed special, saying it went “messier” than his past performances and that he was feeling “mildly manic” leading up to the show. The comedian admitted that the special “wasn’t great” and was “choppy,” but said that there were some people who loved it. Although, Von said he felt “off” during the show.

“People wrote articles saying, ‘This bombed.’ It wasn’t great. I didn’t love it,” Vonn continued. “But I had a lot of people who said it was great and who loved it. But I didn’t think it was perfect, for sure. But I thought, let’s just look at the edit and see.”

Von also addressed a viral clip of him saying hello to fans after the show, where he said, “I’m having a long month, I’m trying not to take my own life.” In his podcast episode, Von clarified that he did not mean what he said, even if it wasn’t a joking matter. “I would never take my own life,” he said, repeating his statement at the camera.

The podcast host added that he and his team have not yet decided if they’ll shoot the special again, or “what’s going on.” Von’s takeaway? “I was fucking in that bitch, cuz. You should’ve seen me, dawg.”

“Write what you want, big dog. It wasn’t perfect, I’ll agree to that… I’ll eat failure for breakfast,” Von explained. “It’s OK, man. It’s part of the job. So much of my life, the best things that have happened in my life have been on the other side of failure.”

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