This blog was curated in collaboration with MU partners Come Play With Me, a non-profit music development organisation based in Leeds.
As a neurodivergent person, the concept of identity and presentation has always been quite difficult for me to understand in terms of defining myself. My identity spans so many labels that it’s hard to know which terms truly represent me, and who I exist as.
In an extensive list, I am a 24-year-old, mixed Chinese-Irish, twice graduated (BA Hons Music & MA Music), multi-instrumentalist, freelance events manager from Leeds, but most importantly (to this article specifically), I’m a transgender man.
While that may feel like quite an easy sentence for me to write now, that wasn’t always the case, as for the first half of my academic life, I was stealth.
Existing as a stealth person
Being ‘stealth’ is a term used by the transgender community referring to a person who has transitioned to a gender they were not assigned at birth, who doesn’t inform people around them of their previously assigned identity.
As is often a defining moment in a young person’s life, leaving my hometown to study music at the University of Lincoln was the biggest thing that I’d ever done, as it was the first time that I would experience meeting new people without anyone knowing or having connections to people that knew me before I transitioned.
My social transition began when I was 15 years old, which gave me three years of experimentation and experiencing the terrible haircut that hairdressers seem to give to every trans-masculine individual the first time they suggest they want to cut their hair short.
There are many reasons that a transgender person may decide to be stealth once they transition, the most common being for safety, as they may not feel supported by their family, home environment, or peers. For me, being stealth was about redefining the way that I was viewed socially, and it became a gender affirming* coping mechanism.
In my early education years, I was a quiet and nervous individual and felt very unsure of myself, but becoming stealth in university allowed me more confidence in a way I don’t think I could have developed otherwise. I was outspoken and began taking on more leadership roles in my work, which led me to be entrusted with directing two music festivals and sparked my love of events management.
My introduction to Come Play With Me
After completing my bachelor’s, it was time for me to move back home and begin my MA Music at Leeds Conservatoire, and with that came the decision of whether I would continue to be stealth or embrace my trans identity openly. I didn’t fully decide which option would be the best for me until I was reintroduced to the organisation, Come Play With Me.
Come Play With Me (CPWM) is a non-profit music organisation based in Leeds, West Yorkshire, that champions inclusivity and diversity through supporting those from marginalised communities to further their careers in music.
At the perfect time in my transition from full-time music education to the freelance world, CPWM had opened its job applications for an Events Assistant. As part of their interview for the position, they asked applicants to outline a dream event concept. For this, I planned out what has now become the first-ever iteration of Asher Hoang Presents… Trans Joy, Trans Noise.
From this interview, CPWM offered me a position as their trans-representative freelance events assistant to make Trans Joy a reality, which was both thrilling and terrifying as I realised that if I was to go through with curating my dream event, being stealth would no longer be an option for me. While, thankfully, there were never any safety risks for me, I was still worried about what opening that closet door and stepping out of my comfort zone would look like.
Two years later, there are no regrets! If it weren’t for Come Play With Me, I wouldn’t be in the amazing position I’m in to have the privilege of developing my part-time freelancing as a transgender events manager into a music events company.
The testosterone of it all
Not long after accepting the position at CPWM, I received confirmation from my GP that I could start a bridging prescription of Testosterone gel, meaning I could finally start my medical transition after being socially transitioned for seven years.
A worry some musicians have when deciding to start testosterone is how it will affect their singing voice, which is something that can vary quite a lot depending on the person.
Having already had a fairly low voice naturally, and presumably partially related to being on a half-dose of testosterone (which is the highest you can get on a bridging prescription before an official gender dysphoria diagnosis), I never noticed the stereotypical voice drop that people expect.
I definitely went through my squeaky phase and had some embarrassing voice cracks on stage to show for it, but otherwise, my vocal range seemed to expand and alter itself gradually.
My main note on this is that if you’re a transgender vocalist looking to start HRT and would like more guidance, you can reach out to trans voice training specialists online who can support both speech and singing development.
Finding community
Since returning to the stage with my trans pop-punk band, National Citizens, and finding my place as a trans and gender non-conforming events manager—while putting on many more DIY shows in the grassroots scene—I’ve made so many friends within the music industry with diverse gender identities.
I’ve also seen and supported more event promotion groups beyond my own Asher Hoang Presents… that share the same goal of platforming LGBTQ+ musicians. Some of which, non-exclusively, are: Pakk Promotions for DIY punk shows, Bite Back Events for mixed drag and music events supporting neurodivergent, disabled and trans queer people; and Poltergeist Promotions for marginalised musicians.
I couldn’t be more thankful for the wonderful community that is the Leeds queer music scene. May we continue to champion LGBTQ+ artists forevermore.
* ‘Gender affirming’ refers to an experience, or item, etc., that makes a person feel comfortable / confident in their gender identity. Although this is a term most often used in relation to trans people, anyone can experience gender affirmation; for example, a feminine-presenting person (cis, trans, or gnc) wearing an outfit that makes them feel very feminine.
LGBT+ History Month was founded in 2005 by the charity ‘Schools OUT’ to mark the anniversary of the abolition of Section 28. It is a time to celebrate LGBTQ+ culture and achievements, while remembering the struggles and activism that paved the way for progress over the years. Across schools, workplaces and organisations the month is marked by events, workshops, talks, exhibitions, and campaigns.
This year’s theme is ‘Science & Innovation’, celebrating and recognising queer people who have contributed massively to society in the past, and who still continue to make worthwhile contributions today. Learn more from charties Schools OUT and Stonewall.
‘ The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties ’
‘ Some details of this article were extracted from the following source musiciansunion.org.uk ’
