Things kick off at comically lightning speed. The opening moments take place years in the past—Allura (Kardashian) and Liberty (Watts) get advice from the regal Dina (Close) to go and start their own firm, like, right this second. The pair race (as in, run) to bring Nash’s Emerald with them. They’re then startlingly confronted by Carrington (Paulson) who is pissed she wasn’t asked to go with them. Too bad, Carrington, you can’t sit with us. And the women are off! I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever seen so much exposition and backstory in such a short amount of time. Why didn’t they spend the first episode developing this backstory? I thought. Or this could have been a set of flashbacks later, after we’ve eased into the plot?
Instead, we get a time jump and the Allura/Liberty/Emerald firm is in stiff competition with Carrington’s own firm (I guess she started one too), and Carrington is out to crush her former colleagues. All of this unfolds at breakneck speed, before we’ve had time to care about any of the characters.
While some have chosen to pick apart Kardashian’s performance (yeah, she’s a bit stiff but give the woman a break), my biggest gripe concerns the surprisingly sloppy, all-over-the-place writing. Case-in-point: Allura’s husband leaves her after confessing, “Next to you, I feel hopelessly small.” Did we ask ChatGPT for predictable, cheesy soap opera dialogue or…?
The first (and only one I’ll be watching) episode was co-written by Murphy and directed by Murphy. Perhaps he was relying on the unbelievably talented cast to elevate the material, but even that proved to be an impossible task here.
The scenes and the dialogue are really tough. Who talks like this?! I screamed into the void. Even one of my all-time favorite actresses, Judith Light in a cameo role, was relegated to painful dialogue and a cartoonish character. (Her reason for cheating on her husband? “He stopped looking at me the way he used to.” Cool cool cool.)
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