Thanksgiving is still a few weeks away, but we’re already feasting over here. What’s the on the menu, you ask? Why, only the best bits of TV dialogue in our Quotes of the Week round-up, of course.
This week, we’re serving up an eclectic mix of moments, including uninformed support for a disgraced celebrity on “Ghosts,” a perfectly deadpan delivery on “Grey’s Anatomy” and an expectedly savage one-liner from “All’s Fair.”
Reality shows also gave us plenty of memorable quotes this week, including an awkward exchange between exes on “The Amazing Race,” the introduction of a “hot Grim Reaper” on “Survivor” and one of the most piercing guilt trips we’ve heard in a minute on Netflix’s “Squid Game: The Challenge.”
And let’s not forget our animated favorites, with both “Bob’s Burgers” and “The Simpsons” making our list this week.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your favorites. (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther and Dave Nemetz)
9-1-1
Best quotes from 9-1-1 – ABC
“Who had a French tip?”
Context is key here: Buck (Oliver Stark) is literally holding up a severed finger — with a French tip, of course — after the 118 responded to a family reunion in which everyone lost their digits in a tug of war gone wrong
ALL’S FAIR
Best quotes from All’s Fair – Hulu
“Hey, gals! Boy, do I love coming here, walking down that hallway shaped like a clown cervix.”
In an otherwise extremely heavy episode, you can at least count on Carrington (Sarah Paulson) for a little comic relief
THE AMAZING RACE
Best quotes from The Amazing Race – CBS
“I’m running with the love of my life and the best team standing next to us, too, so…”
“I was the love of her life.”
“Oh, shut the hell up!”
Taylor Hale’s ex Joseph Abdin cracks a joke, knowing darn well that Taylor was referring to her actual boyfriend Kyland Young
BOB’S BURGERS
Best quotes from Bob’s Burgers – Fox
“Hopefully Penelope and Zeke hit it off, and then he asks her to the dance, or she asks him to the dance, or they ask each other at the exact same time.”
“That’s how Simon and Garfunkel got together, and now they’ve been married 40 wonderful years.”
Sometimes we wonder if the Belcher family even listens to what Gene (Eugene Mirman) is saying half the time
GHOSTS
Best quotes from Ghosts – CBS
“Trevor says it has over 500 horses in it. My only question is, how do they crush the bones into such perfectly rounded curves?”
Hetty (Rebecca Wisocky) doesn’t quite understand the science behind Trevor’s (Asher Grodman) new Porsche
GHOSTS (Bonus Quote!)
Best quotes from Ghosts – CBS
“No, I don’t want to be the annoying, nudgy dad. I want to be the cool ghost dad. By the way, ‘Ghost Dad’? Underrated Bill Cosby movie. If only he were here to help guide me. America’s dad, am I right?”
“Great actor. Better man.”
Apparently, not all news reaches the ghost community, as evidenced by Pete (Richie Moriarty) and Trevor’s (Asher Grodman) admiration of the “Cosby Show” star
GREY’S ANATOMY
Best quotes from Grey’s Anatomy – ABC
“You called the chief of cardiothoracic surgery?”
“He’s a friend.”
With all respect to Jo (Camilla Luddington) in her time of crisis, Link’s (Chris Carmack) deadpan delivery here was really funny
NCIS
Best quotes from NCIS – CBS
“And who are they? The new Tony and Ziva?”
“I’ve been here for nine years!”
Former NCIS team member Vera (Roma Maffia) sees something familiar in Torres (Wilmer Valderrama) and Jessica, but Torres doesn’t appreciate it
THE SIMPSONS
Best quotes from The Simpsons – Fox
“This place is sweet! I wouldn’t mind being hunted for sport here.”
This endorsement means even more when you remember that Bart (Nancy Cartwright) has literally been hunted for sport on this show before
SQUID GAME: THE CHALLENGE
Best quotes from Squid Game The Challenge – Netflix
“I’m so sorry.”
“You can tell that to my son.”
Player 327 (Kate) lays on a thick guilt trip after Player 72 (Perla) sends her back to the start of Slides and Ladders in Episode 7
ST. DENIS MEDICAL
Best quotes from St. Denis Medical – NBC
“I’m telling you, it was a goof, OK? I was trying to make an A.I. image of [Serena’s] baby with Tim.”
“Where’d you even get my photo?”
“It looks like they’re all from today!”
“Ugh, they’re all blurry. Ew, how old is your phone?”
Everyone else is horrified that Ron (David Alan Grier) seems to have covertly taken photos of Serena for his personal use; nurse Brandon (Dan Leahy) is horrified at Ron’s outdated technology
SURVIVOR
Best quotes from Survivor – CBS
“I’m coming over like the grim reaper, but like, a hot grim reaper, you know?”
Souped-up with a shiny new advantage and immunity, Savannah Louie aims to cause chaos at Tribal Council
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