The protocols and royal rules Meghan hated, and her distaste for being a ‘second-rate princess’, according to royal author

Fresh off the Hollywood boulevard, Meghan Markle was thrust headfirst into the grandeur of the British Royal Family after her engagement to Prince Harry.

According to royal biographer Tom Quinn, she thought she would be living in Windsor Castle and couldn’t believe it when she and Harry were given Nottingham Cottage in the grounds of Kensington Palace.

‘I don’t think in the whole history there was ever a greater divide between what someone expected when they became a member of the Royal Family and what they discovered it was really like,’ he wrote in his 2023 book, Gilded Youth.

Based on the comments of a Palace staffer, Quinn wrote that Meghan ‘suddenly found herself in an institution she found she couldn’t influence and that assigns roles to people and that do not change’.

‘She was dazzled by the worldwide fame that being a princess would bring, but she was shocked by the Palace protocol and by the fact that she was not and never could be first in the pecking order,’ he added.

Much like Harry felt like a ‘Spare’ to William, Meghan hated being a ‘second-rate princess’ to Kate, the royal author wrote.

‘Most of all, she hated the fact that she had to do what she was told and go where she was told in the endless and to a large extent pointless royal round.

‘She was a global superstar but was being told what she could and could not do, what she could and could not say. She hated it.’

Royal author Tom Quinn wrote that Meghan hated being a ‘second-rate princess’ to Kate Middleton

Quinn wrote of Meghan’s revelations once she joined the Firm in his book, Gilded Youth 

This comes as, in what appeared to be a thinly veiled swipe at the Royal Family, Meghan said she ‘couldn’t be as vocal’ while a working royal and wore clothes that were ‘not very myself’ while promoting the second series of her Netflix show.

While speaking to Bloomberg’s Emily Chang over smashed burgers and pints of beer, Meghan is asked if there is an ‘inherent tension’ between ‘trying to be relatable’ while also being a Duchess.

Meghan, 44, responded that she is ‘just being herself’ before appearing to take a dig at her former life in the royal fold.

‘It was different several years ago where I couldn’t be as vocal and I had to wear nude pantyhose all the time!’ the Duchess said, adding it ‘felt a little bit inauthentic’.

Meghan has already touched on things she had to sacrifice in order to be a royal, such as her lifestyle blog The Tig, which she ditched in April 2017, a few months before her engagement to Harry.

She linked the decision to the immense changes that came with joining the institution.

According to Quinn’s book, the royal staffer felt that the traditions of the Royal Family came as a shock to Meghan, who ‘always felt in control of her own destiny‘.

‘The other side of things is that she quickly realised that she was being treated by the royal establishment and the aristocratic advisers in a slightly condescending way because she was not a blood royal.

‘Kate had to put up with the same thing, but she was better at dealing with it because she does not have Meghan’s messianic tendencies and used charm and patience to get people on her side rather than trying to hector them into being nice to her.’ 

According to Quinn’s book, the royal staffer felt that the traditions of the Royal Family came as a shock to Meghan, who ‘always felt in control of her own destiny’

‘The other side of things is that she quickly realised that she was being treated by the royal establishment and the aristocratic advisers in a slightly condescending way because she was not a blood royal,’ wrote the royal author

Quinn wrote: ‘Kate had to put up with the same thing, but she was better at dealing with it because she does not have Meghan’s messianic tendencies’

According to Quinn, Meghan allegedly tried not only to carve out her own independent career as a working royal but also tried to ‘outshine’ every other member of the family – including the late Queen.

Writing in his latest book, Yes Ma’am – which explores the lives of the men and women who serve the royals –  Quinn claims that Meghan Markle caused a panic during her brief time as a working member of the family when she signalled she wanted to operate separately from the Queen.

Quinn wrote: ‘Buckingham Palace became really worried when they became aware that Meghan had plans for her life as a working royal that were not going to be part of a general strategy agreed with the staff – she just wanted to do her own thing.

‘Which is fair enough if you’re not a member of a tightly controlled institution but it was never going to be acceptable that Meghan should outshine Princess Anne, Prince Charles and Elizabeth the Queen.’

Quinn added that Meghan ‘undoubtedly felt constrained’ by the Royal Family and that she and Harry needed to ‘do their own thing without consulting the big royal machine’.

The breakdown in the relationship between the brothers and their wives has been reported at length, with the seeds of the growing rift being planted early on.

Quinn wrote in Gilded Youth: ‘Certainly, the difficulties between William and Harry were exacerbated after the brothers married and especially after Harry married Meghan.

‘Even Harry admitted at one point that he and his brother were on “different paths” and although he also said that he would always be there for his brother, he pointedly avoided answering a simple yes when a journalist asked him if things were OK between Meghan and William and Kate.

Quinn wrote in Gilded Youth: ‘Certainly, the difficulties between William and Harry were exacerbated after the brothers married and especially after Harry married Meghan’

The royal author added that Meghan ‘undoubtedly felt constrained’ by the Royal Family and that she and Harry needed to ‘do their own thing without consulting the big royal machine’

Quinn wrote: ‘Buckingham Palace became really worried when they became aware that Meghan had plans for her life as a working royal that were not going to be part of a general strategy agreed with the staff – she just wanted to do her own thing’

According to royal author Valentine Low, Meghan yearned to monetise her royal title, which led to ‘Megxit’.

Writing in his book Courtiers, Low claims that Meghan’s desire to ‘earn money for herself’ led the couple to abandon their duties entirely.

Low revealed that during discussions about how to reach a happy middle ground – which could please the whole family – multiple scenarios were explored.

These ranged from Harry and Meghan ‘having a month a year to do their own thing’ to ‘spending most of their time privately but doing a select number of royal activities’.

The one caveat for the Sussexes continuing royal duties – however small or minor – was that they must stick to the ‘normal rules about royal behaviour’.

Crucially, that would mean Harry and Meghan could not ‘act or take decisions in order to gain financially’.

Low wrote: ‘Some suspected that in the end she wanted to make money. And the only way she was going to do that was by leaving her royal life behind and going back to America.’

With the recent drop of part two of With Love, Meghan, it seems that the former actress has turned her attention firmly to her brand.

The one caveat for the Sussexes continuing royal duties – however small or minor – was that they must stick to the ‘normal rules about royal behaviour’

The breakdown in the relationship between the brothers and their wives has been reported at length, with the seeds of the growing rift being planted early on

According to royal author Valentine Low, Meghan yearned to monetise her royal title, which led to ‘Megxit’. Writing in his book Courtiers, Low claims that Meghan’s desire to ‘earn money for herself’ led the couple to abandon their duties entirely

When relaunching her lifestyle brand As Ever in February, Meghan said: ‘As Ever essentially means as it’s always been, and if you’ve followed me since 2014 with The Tig, you know I’ve always loved cooking and crafting and gardening – this is what I do. 

‘And I haven’t been able to share it with you in the same way for the past few years, but now I can so, as things are starting to trickle out there, I wanted you to hear it from me first.’

In 2021, Harry and Meghan stepped back from social media after abuse from online trolls.

When Emily quizzed Meghan about her current political stance later on in the episode, the Duchess appeared to dodge the question – admitting she hadn’t spoken about it since 2016, before she met Prince Harry.

Emily referenced Meghan’s appearance on Larry Wilmore’s The Nightly Show in 2016, in which she branded Donald Trump ‘misogynistic’ and ‘divisive’, especially with female voters.

Speaking about the video, Emily asked if there was anything Meghan was ‘dying to say right now, but you feel like you can’t’ – appearing to ask her current views on US politics.

While speaking to Bloomberg’s Emily Chang over smashed burgers and pints of beer, Meghan is asked if there is an ‘inherent tension’ between ‘trying to be relatable’ while also being a Duchess 

But Meghan simply responded ‘no’, before appearing to change the subject: ‘I just make a choice of what matters to me and what’s important to me. And that was a different time in 2016.’

Protocol dictates that members of the British Royal family must remain politically impartial. 

But since leaving the royal fold, Meghan has not been as vocal about political issues as she had been previously.

As she and Emily laughed, Meghan said: ‘Let’s be honest, that was not very myself. I hadn’t seen pantyhose since movies in the 80s! That felt a little bit inauthentic.

‘That’s a silly example but it is an example of when you want to dress the way you want to dress and say the things that are true and you’re able to show up in that space really organically and authentically – that’s being comfortable in your own skin.’