Theo Von Tells Fans ‘I Would Never Take My Own Life’ After Botched Netflix Special Taping

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After facing criticism for what multiple fans said was a “rough” Netflix standup special taping in New York City, Theo Von addressed the reaction and admitted that he’s done better work, while also reassuring fans he would “never” consider taking his own life.

On the latest episode of his podcast, This Past Weekend, Theo Von started by addressing all the talk online about the taping.

At around the 19-minute point of the podcast, as seen below, he admitted that he realized that he was “off” that night, and that he struggled to remember some of his material. “I started to feel bad that I wasn’t giving them the best show,” he said. “I went into the second show feeling like, ‘Okay, I got to figure some of this out.’ I couldn’t tell if people were being, like, legit. Like, ‘Okay, was it good? Was it bad? What was going on?’”

As is common with stand-up special tapings, it was recorded over two different shows. He said he felt as if he was “cooking” during the first 20 minutes of the second show, but then he struggled to remember what material would come next, which was especially difficult because he didn’t have a teleprompter. “I just didn’t feel like myself,” he said. “At the end of the night, I was like, ‘I don’t know if we got it.’”

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He then addressed the clip of him casually making a joke about trying not to die by suicide after a “long month,” and wanted to make it clear his fans shouldn’t be worried. “I woke up the next day to, like, a bunch of things like, ‘Bro, what’s up?’” he recalled. “And I was like, ‘Oh my God… Did I steal somebody’s horse? Did I hit somebody with a vehicle?’ … Then a buddy of mine sent me a clip… Then people were asking me about suicide and I was like, ‘Oh God.’”

He said that he that he understands suicide is not a joke to a lot of people, and he would include himself among those who wouldn’t appreciate something as dark as that. “I would never take my own life,” he affirmed. “I’m grateful to God for his grace in my life. I love my siblings. I have so many friends and people that love me and people that I want to see their children grow up. I’m hopeful that I get to have a wife and meet my own children one day. There’s a ton of things in my life that keep me alive and hopeful, right? I want to be able to have an impact in the world.”

He stressed to his fans that he’s “going to have to be alive for a long time,” and he saw all the articles about his “rough” stand-up special. “Look, it wasn’t great,” he said. “I didn’t think it was perfect, you know, for sure. But I thought, let’s just look at the edit and see. So we still haven’t decided, we might shoot it again. … But homie, I was fucking in that bitch, cuz.”

Von also indicated that he would take the experience in stide, because he’s “failed so many times” in the past. “It wasn’t perfect, man, I’ll agree to that,” he concluded. “You full me up with failure flakes over the years, kids. And that’s okay, man. That’s part of the job. The first ten years of doing comedy is failure. So much of my life, the best things that have ever happened in my life have been on the other side of failure.”

Awful Announcing editor Ben Koo was among the first to highlight some of the negative reactions to the Netflix special taping. One fan said that Theo Von “seemed unrehearsed and disorganized” during the taping, and repeated multiple jokes “clearly trying to get it right for the camera.”

A video circulating on social media showed that he was admitted that it was a “long month” for him, and that he was “trying not to take my own life.” Several fans expressed concern after the clip circulated.

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