Key Points
The final episode of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert included a monologue like any other show.
While he didn’t mention President Donald Trump directly, Colbert did take aim at stories in the news.
Colbert joked that he wants to know how to start an OnlyFans account.
Stephen Colbert began the final episode of The Late Show with love for his show’s venue, the Ed Sullivan Theater.
“We were lucky enough to be here for the last 11 years. You can’t take this for granted. Though, actually, technically, our first show, back in July of 2015, was from a public access station in Monroe, Michigan, for an audience of 12 people,” the 10-time Emmy winner said.
Colbert flashed what appeared to be a throwback photo of himself perched on wicker furniture, then deadpanned, “And show business being what it is these days, that’s probably where you’ll see me next.”
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Colbert then said he’d miss his “First Drafts” bit in which he shows a finished greeting card and then the hilariously bad first draft. To demonstrate, he showed a card that read, “This isn’t goodbye, it’s see you later!” The original read “This isn’t goodbye. How do you start an OnlyFans?”
The show’s team had considered doing a special send-off, Colbert said, but they believe that every episode is special.
“We thought the best way to celebrate what we’ve done over the last 11 years is just do a regular episode where I come out here and talk about the national conversation,”
Celebrities including Bryan Cranston, Tim Meadows, and Paul Rudd interrupted the final monologue, popping up in the audience to ask if they could be his last guest.
While Colbert didn’t directly joke about President Donald Trump, who has celebrated Colbert’s departure, the host did riff on news stories, such as a sinkhole shutting down a runway at LaGuardia Airport.
“And, yes, that is someone’s actual job,” he said, and then imitated someone wearing a “hole inspector” label. “Holy mackrel, is that why women won’t talk to me?”
He also mentioned a school bus in the Bronx had partially fallen into a sinkhole.
“First Queens, then the Bronx,” Colbert said. “Even sinkholes don’t want to go to Staten Island. You know what? We better get off the air quick before a giant sinkhole swallows the Ed Sullivan.”
The spread of the hantavirus was a target, too. Colbert emphasized that the country’s response is now being led by Dr. Brian Christine, a “penile implant specialist and vaccine skeptic.”
“Clearly, this guy is not a fan of little pricks,” he said.
Colbert couldn’t help but take jabs at the Catholic Church, saying that the scandal encompassing Rome’s “sexy priest calendar is “the worst scandal to ever hit.”
A dancing robot was also the recipient of some Late Show ribbing.
“This show ending does have one upside: I won’t have to talk about the inevitable rise of the machine overlords, though I have recently been given some hope in the form of this new dancing robot from China,” he said over video of the robot failing spectacularly.
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